A Day In The Life Of, Well, Us

It’s not all about epic farts (well, it’s mostly about epic farts), it’s also about trains, Magna-Tiles, PB&Js, time outs, nap time, artwork, and importantly, shandy time by the pool. But we’ll get to the pool later.

This was a tough #momstaysinthepicture occasion.
This was a tough #momstaysinthepicture occasion.

Here’s something you won’t get from every other mom blog: a completely honest account of a day as a stay-at-home mom. Caveats:

  • I’m a temporary SAH mom. I’m sure full time pros do things a little differently/better.
  • We didn’t do any special outings today, so this doesn’t represent a “typical day” of our summer so far. But this is much more realistic, I’m realizing, as I’ve exhausted myself the last three weeks doing special activities every day.
  • I may have retouched some cellulite out of one photo, and if I knew how to use Photoshop, I would’ve done more.

On this awesome morning (Monday), both kids slept in until 8. If you want the secret to having your kids sleep in until 8, it’s this: sun + chlorine + cousins + Grammy + mom away on girls’ weekend. Strong work, Matty.

When they wake up, Hazy usually dresses herself and hangs out for a few before coming into our bedroom. George, on the other hand, yells, “I’m awake! Mama! Dada! I waked up!” until we come get him. I kind of like that he doesn’t think he can leave his room. Anyway, it was probably 8:30 by the time we went downstairs.

8:30 – 9:30: Breakfast, tooth brushing, toy pit time

Once in a blue moon, it’s quiet in the toy pit and no one is silent crying/drawing on the walls/unconscious from a train car to the head.

playing nice
This was one of those times. Hallelujah.

They played with trains and Magna-Tiles, and no one got any minutes off. Then, it was time to do some momming.

9:30 – 11:30: Toy Pit Family Time

I love playing with my kids, but I hate playing Teacher. Teacher means sitting on the rug and getting reprimanded non-stop for talking out of turn, i.e., at any time. Two hours of playing teacher is like being waterboarded with the grossest Gatorade, lemon-lime.

Luckily, I got to be teacher first. My pie chart question:
Luckily, I got to be teacher first. My pie chart question: “How many pieces of pie do you want?”
George: 1
Hazy: 5
My wonderful, beloved students. Except for Belle, I don't trust her empty eyes.
My wonderful, beloved students. Except for Belle, I don’t trust her empty eyes.
I thought it was cute that Mr. George can only write an H, for Hazy, of course.
I thought it was cute that Mr. George can only write an H, for Hazy, of course.
Mr. George also got up mid-lesson to say,
Mr. George also got up mid-lesson to say, “Now I”ll put on some music so you can dance.” I like this teacher.
A lot of kids got put in the Quiet Corner at school, including Pooh Bear and a Happy Meal toy.
A lot of kids got put in the Quiet Corner at school, including Pooh Bear and a Happy Meal toy.
Beatz was tardy.
Beatz was tardy.
We didn't get shushed once! Although George did get sent to the Quiet Corner.
We didn’t get shushed once! Although George did get sent to the Quiet Corner.

Then George and I applied the tattoos Ms. Hazel gave us.

I chose a more tasteful ankle placement.
I chose a more tasteful ankle placement.

This was a particularly good game of Teacher, but even a good game is not great, so I managed to convince them to spend some time reading.

If we’re at home, George delays getting out of his jammies for as long as humanly possible. In this case, a little before noon.

Please, sir, if I could just put on your pants.
Please, sir, if I could just put on your pants.

11:45 – 12:30 The outing! (It took us 15 minutes or so to round up, get George dressed, and put on shoes.)

After securing pants on this one, we went to Boomerang’s, a local thrift store that benefits the AIDS Action Committee, to shop for Uncle Marco’s birthday. This was literally the only time we left our house/yard all day.

12:30 – 1:30 Lunch Break

Lunch, the epic fart incident, putting G down for his nap.

How many consecutive days did we decide are too many to give your kids PB&Js?
How many consecutive days did we decide are too many to give your kids PB&Js?
No one appreciates a good book* like Georgie. *about trains or trucks
No one appreciates a good book* like Georgie.
*about trains or trucks

1:30 – 3:30 George’ nap; Hazy & my special time

George’s nap is really Hazy and my time to do big kid stuff together. She’s really into her acrylics and canvas these days, so after a pedi for Hazy, a few episodes of My Little Pony (read: nap time for me), she did some painting.

Anything to avoid watching Flutter Shy.
Anything to avoid watching Flutter Shy.
I was about to compliment her ladybug when I saw the letters C-O-W. Close call.
I was about to compliment her ladybug when I saw the letters C-O-W. Close call.

3:30 – 5:15 Yard Time

Post nap, we went to our second favorite pool, our own. Usually pool time is my Shandy time, and I just sit back and watch the kids splash around. This time, I decided to leave my phone and shandy inside and be a part of the action. I was encouraged by the fact that it was about 95º out.

Felt like a kid again.
Felt like a kid again.
Showing me how it's done.
Showing me how it’s done.
I did not, however, participate in the horse riding portion, except to ride in the ensuing waves.
I did not, however, participate in the horse riding portion, except to ride in the ensuing waves.
Getting air!
Getting air!
HE may be
He may be “spirited”, But George is also very sweet. Here, he’s sharing his water with Beatz.

After the ensuing mud pit we created on the lawn when we emptied the pool, it was bath time.

5:15-5:45 Bath Time

My American Idol will always be Kelly and my Little Mermaid will always be Hazy. Suck it, Ariel.
My American Idol will always be Kelly and my Little Mermaid will always be Hazy. Suck it, Carrie/Ariel.
Everything's great about bath time until SOMEONE GETS SOAP IN THEIR EYE. Note: water also counts as soap.
Everything’s great about bath time until SOMEONE GETS SOAP IN THEIR EYE. Note: water also counts as soap.

 5:45 – 6:30 Cooking/Toy Pit

I treat the toy pit like the Coliseum when I’m cooking. The gladiators have to work it out on their own. Two kids enter, okay fine, two kids leave. But it’s either to go to their rooms for time out or to come set the table and wash their hands.

We’ve been occasionally doing Blue Apron, which I like, but it’s a constant blow to the ego, like when it says it takes 25-35 minutes to prepare and it takes me 50.  So on this occasion, we had a late dinner. Matty got home around 6:00 and played with the kids, who greeted him like a king. I also had to go to a quick doctor’s appointment.

Dr. Hazel diagnosed me with Medipedia
Dr. Hazel diagnosed me with Medipedia, which isn’t as scary (or informative!) as it sounds. p.s. I dig the hairbrush in her pocket.
Then she had a consult with another doctor, and told him he had to
Then she had a consult with another doctor, and told him he had to “put a tube in me”. The other doctor and I had a good laugh about that.

6:30 – 7:00: Dinner

Yep, we eat fast. Sorry if we don’t “have conversations” and “chew our food” like some of you fancy pants. Usually, we give the kids whatever we’re having, but I wimped out because the Blue Apron was North African Beef Tagine, and made them mac & cheese. I’m ashamed of myself. But I don’t feel that bad, because they totally would not have eaten North African Beef Tagine.

7:00 – seeming infinity: Bedtime ritual (Full confession, I snuck out from 7:05-7:25 to get my bangs trimmed.)

Flossing (ugggghhh), brushing (ugh), thank god they’re already in their pajamas from bath time, reading, and 10 minutes one-on-one time for each of them (good job, guys!). Since Matty and I were both home, we split it up so that Hazy had 10 minutes with Matty and I had 10 minutes with George (we alternate). As dinner was so late (curse you, Blue Apron! Just kidding, I can’t stay mad at you after the Ponzu Steak), bedtime went a little late too. But phew, we were done by 8:00, because…

8:00 – 10:00: Unwinding

Did I say unwinding? I meant speed-washing the dishes so I could watch The Bachelorette: The Men Tell All and force Matty to do the same. (Although I didn’t have to twist him arm that hard.)

8:20 – Me, grasping distended belly: “I ate too much tagine!”

9:30 – Matty, looking at me eating chocolate-covered yogurt pop: “Weren’t you just saying you had a stomach ache from eating too much?”

Me: Continues to eat popsicle.

Today was much the same, except instead of Boomerang’s, we went to the post office, where George ran so far off that he was already at the automatic doors, practically outside, before some woman in line said, “Ma’am, he’s all the way over there”, shaming me at the post office. Also, Hazy turned into a teenager in front of my very eyes.

Excuse me, ma'am? Oh I'm sorry, you're a 6-year old girl.
Excuse me, ma’am? Oh I’m sorry, you’re a 6-year old girl.

And today, George went into the pool solo while Hazy and I made mustache straws. As you do.

Back to our back to back grandma days tomorrow and Thursday. Hooray for grandmothers and Opa! If you have any good, simple arts & crafts projects, please leave a comment. Thanks!

8 thoughts on “A Day In The Life Of, Well, Us”

  1. Three supplies: Construction paper, scissors, glue stick. I like to fold the construction paper once or twice then cut random shapes. It’s magic when you unfold it. Then you can take the pieces that you’ve cut out and paste them on other pictures. (WARNING: NEVER USE GLITTER. EVER. It is the herpes of the decorative world. Once you have it, you’ll never get rid of it!) You could turn it into a lesson about Matisse’s paper cut outs. There’s a lovely book called “Henri’s Scissors.” You should know this lasts about 10 minutes in my house, when Sammy then moves onto pretending to be a T-Rex.

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  2. Hi Natasha. I just smiled and cracked up at your post. I’m kind of a stay at home mom too. Brushing and flossing have been better since our niece told our kids the Tooth Fairy gives better prizes for shiny flossed and brushed teeth! 😀 just wanted to share that

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