Draft of My Parenting Book

Yesterday, we went to the Common to go on the Swan Boats and splash in the Frog Pond with repeat OSAH guest star, Ariel.

I’m starting to get into the groove with this temporary stay-at-home-mom thing, so I thought I’d share some tips from my award-winning* parenting handbook. These will be available in a published book as soon as we get more than one comment on a blog post and/or I go a single day without losing my s-word during a moment of epic parenting failure.

Bring reinforcements.

Ariel not only does our adventure planning for us (she came up with the Swan Boats/Frog Pond idea), she also brings along two really cute assistants, Dax (human) and Only (dog).

2. Make your kids do their part.

These backpacks hold their lunches and a change of clothes. It’s not important that George left his water bottle open and soaked his change of clothes; at least he carried them himself. p.s. How cute is Only?

Why waste time applying sunscreen when they are perfectly capable of doing it themselves? And by doing it, I mean making themselves into Papa Smurf but totally neglecting the top halves of their faces.

3. Encourage any and all energy-using activities.

Get those birds! This time I know you’ll catch one.

See if you can swim in this ankle-deep water!

4. Plan (or have your reinforcements, see #1) several activities so the kids don’t get bored.

I’m a younger sibling, so I know what it’s like to always be the one who doesn’t get to ride the one fancy dragon horse, George. Way to wear it well, buddy.

5. Give them a little taste of parenting, so they recognize how hard it is.

“Hazy, you have to hold his head up, even if/when he throws up on you!” p.s. How cute is Dax?

6. Point out how amazing everything is, even things that might seem mundane to most.

First, we got on TV. Then, we got the conductor to beep the horn when he pulled away, JUST FOR US. George acted like he’d just met Santa Claus, and not Mall Santa Claus.

7. Get a team photo for posterity. Hazy and George have named us Team Threebies, because there are three of us on our adventures.

Coming up in a future installment: how to handle an overtired tantrumming child when you yourself are an overtired overheated adult on the verge of a tantrum. I’m sorry, did I end that with a period? I meant to end it with a question mark.

*One time Hazy made me a Best Mom In the World drawing in school.