We Attend The Mayor’s Ball

Well, “ball” may be a bit of a stretch. It was a festival, a children’s festival. It was Mayor Mahhhty Walsh’s annual Children’s Festival and we only went because I heard an ad for it on my trusty shower radio, tuned to Magic 106.7 who doesn’t sponsor this blog but totally should.

And because it’s still Sweeps Week, we had a special guest. Luckily, we already had a playdate scheduled with the lovely Sabina.

Meet Sabina; she has caviar face paint dreams, but a willingness to settle for canned tuna face paint reality.

And fortunately, we had an extra ticket for the ball (and by ticket, I mean the whole city was invited and it was a free event).

The red carpet is green grass at this ball, and no one asks who you’re wearing (but if asked, we would have admitted that pink bunny shirt is Sweeteen and the green shorts are Crewcuts, and okay, fine, Hazy’s shorts are Justice but I wish Justice didn’t exist so let’s pretend they’re not).

Like any ball, there was food (free Hoodsies!), entertainment (police horse demonstration, a fire truck, bubbles, puppet show), and dancing (a flash mob dancing to Can’t Stop the Feeling).

Here are the girls with Winston, the police horse. George did not want to be in the photo, possibly related to the time he told me he was “allergic to police.”
George in no way endorses arson.
George reacted to these bubbles the way Bill Clinton reacted to the DNC balloons.
Sunshine in our pockets

There was also face painting at the ball, but the line was so long we would’ve turned into pumpkins, so I convinced the kids that we could do our own face paint at home. I neglected to mention my complete lack of artistic skill. After nixing their early ideas (“a sunset over an ocean”, “a unicorn leaping over a rainbow”, “Van Gogh’s starry night but done in more of Monet’s style”), I googled “easy face paint ideas” and let them choose. That’s how we ended up with leaping dolphins (still above my skill level), a heart and two rainbows (good choice, George), and a heart with random lines and dots (you are welcome at our house anytime, Sabina).

After lunch and the face paint shenanigans, George napped while the girls played in the toy pit and harangued me until I agreed to play Palace with them. How do you play Palace, you ask? “You can be a princess, a knight, a maid, anyone in the palace.” I get to be a maid all the time, so I decided to be the queen. I chose not to take any photos of me in my blonde curly wig, pink tiara, and arms shoved into a size 4T princess dress. Your loss.

After nap/Palace, we hit the mini pool. And we hit it pretty hard.


I have major FOMOMO (Fear Of Missing Out on Motherhood Opportunities), so I agreed to do a jump with the kids.

Yes, Mom Jeans™ makes bathing suits now.

After our playdate, we headed to Target because I desperately needed a new phone. While there, I discovered Cat & Jack, and by discovered, I mean I acted like it was Black Friday and I was the first person in at 4 am.

I think I can fit in that HAVE FUN TODAY shirt in a size 16, but they were out of that size or probably were, whatever, I didn’t check or anything. (Shot on iPhone 6S!)

Yesterday, I got called “the Best Mom Ever” by my kids. Do you know what it takes to get BME status? Doing an amazing craft project? Reading them a favorite book? Passing along a cherished family tradition? No, it was taking them to McDonald’s for dinner. That’s because it took so long at Target to transfer stuff to my new phone, while the kids entertained themselves by figuring out how to watch PJ Masks on YouTube on the sample iPods. Best Mom Ever indeed. Guys, don’t try to live up to this level of parenting.

4 thoughts on “We Attend The Mayor’s Ball”

  1. BME status so often reached by actions that might be judged by other moms as WME. Good thing those uptight bitches aren’t the BME judges! Good job, BME!


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